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 Please, for the love of god, try the following: 
        Don't click the  Refresh button. Go outside now. 
If you are about to spend another $100 at 
        Amazon, then please contact Amazon Anonymous.
To go outside, first click the Cyber 
        Hypnosis menu, and then click Cold Water in the Face. On the 
        Numb Ass tab, click Sedentary Back Pain. The Get Out of 
        Your Chair settings should match those provided by your local area 
        network (LAN) administrator.
If your Evil Computer Addict persona has enabled it, we can 
        examine your network and quickly discover a way to wake you up from your 
        computer-induced stupor.  
        If you would like Windows to try and discover them, click
  Detect Computer-Induced Stupor 
There are a host of things awaiting you in the 
        outside world: fishing, skiing, skeet shooting, triathlons, PTA 
        meetings, and dentist appointments, for example.
If you are unable to get up, click here and your 
        power strip will emit a large enough shock to scare you back to your 
        senses. If that doesn't work, then we give up. You are officially in 
        need of some serious help. Dial 1-800-GET-HELP on your computer's keypad 
        to reach a mental hospital near you.
Click the  Back button to melt your computer. 
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